Hawaiian Roller Coaster Prom
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: Blair Waldorf would lie, cheat and kill to become prom queen. But Lilo and Reuben have other plans. Two plans, one night and superpowers. What could go wrong? Written for the Unstable Universes Podcast.


The stage was set, everything was perfect for the students of St. Jumba Prep. A beach of soft white sand covered the dance floor, as the sounds of a waterfall roared near the open spit where a full pig slowly turned. Tables were piled high with fancy imported snacks and punch that had yet to be spiked. Beautiful LED Tiki Torches lined the red-carpet entrance to the prom.

Blaire Waldorf "Head Bitch In Charge" took a step out of her white limo and looked on at her masterpiece. Months of campaigning led to this moment, she closed her eyes and imagined Professor Bubbles lowering the tiara onto her head. Blaire's lips stretched across her perfect teeth. No longer would Queen B be just a nickname, it would be reality.

"What the fuck is Blaire doing over there?" Asked Lilo as she stared at the confusing sight.

"Maybe she's finally lost her mind," suggested Rueben as he lit a cigarette.

"I think she lost it a long time ago," laughed back Lilo.

The group of mutants were not dress for the occasion. Instead of wearing beautiful full-length gowns and tuxedos, they wore full black. Because is Blaire was planning something, they sure as hell were going to plan something of their own.

The students were beginning to enter the Prom now. Queen B stood next to her half-devil boyfriend Chuck Bass near the entrance so she could greet people as they walked in.

"She's taking control of them," Reuben exclaimed. He lit another cigarette in anxiety.

"It's fine. I planned for this," replied Lilo. She looked back through her binoculars, "what I didn't plan for was our prom king not showing up."

"He'll be here," Reuben replied, "I'm sure of it. Also Blaire's heading inside now, I think they're going to start voting soon."

"Then we better start moving," Lilo laughed, grabbing the cigarette from Rueben's mouth and tossing it off the edge of the building. She grabbed a full black box with a slot cut in the top. On its front in bold white font were the words 'Prom King'.

*BUZZ BUZZ * Blaire tried to ignore the buzzing in her bra for as long as possible. *BUZZ BUZZ *

"Is that coming from you?" Chuck asked smoothly, his voice sounded like a bowling ball rolling down a hard wood hallway.

"YES," Blaire huffed before stalking out of the school gymnasium. She pulled her phone out of her bra.

Queen B thought this would be a night to always remember, but it looks like it's going to be a night she wishes she could forget XOXO Gossip Girl.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?" Blaire screeched.

"Voting for prom queen and king is now over," came a voice over the PA system.

"FUCK!" Blaire yelled.

"Hey babe. We can all hear you in there," Chuck popped his head out the gymnasium doors.

"Shut up!" Blaire screamed, stomping her way back into the prom.

"We have eyes on Blaire again," said Reuben.

"Almost done with the boxes," Lilo called from behind the curtain.

Loud clanging and whirring echoed from behind the curtain, but Reuben knew better than to question it. His hand idly searched for his box of cigarettes only to come up empty.

He looked back through his binoculars and finally saw a flash of blue. Reuben exhaled a huge sign of relief.

"Prom king finally decided to show his face," Reuben said to the dark curtain.

"Well it's about time," Lilo pushed through the curtain, box of ballots in hand, "We gotta go."

The two mutants rushed out of the backstage and climbed up to the balcony. They wanted the

best view of the disaster that was about to happen.

"It's time to announce the prom king and queen," Mr. Bubbles said into the microphone on

stage.

Blaire pushed her way to the front, clinging onto Chuck's arm like a spider monkey clinging to

its mother.

"The votes have been tallied and I congratulate all of you for participating, it's been a tradition

at St. Jumbas to always honor our most popular students. I'd like to start us off by reading a

letter from our alumni," continued Mr. Bubbles.

"Just get on with it!" Yelled Blaire from the audience. Chuck quickly clapped a hand to her mouth, which she promptly bit down on drawing blood.

"Ah, well… okay," Mr. Bubbles said tucking the alumni letter back into his jacket and pulling out the results, "your prom queen in Blaire Waldorf."

Blaire ran up on stage, her long gown billowing behind her majestically. She curtseyed and Mr. Bubbles lowered the tiara onto her head. She beamed like a new bride.

"Next for your prom king… Stitch!" Mr. Bubbles laughed. Everyone clapped hesitantly as the blue creature climbed onto the stage on all fours.

Stitch grabbed the crown from his principal and promptly shoved it into his mouth chewing loudly and aggressively. Blaire and the audience were showered in small Swarovski diamonds and bits of plastic. For the grand finale he ripped apart his sash and part of Blaires dress. The rest of the school laughed and pointed at her.

"Umm. I guess its time for the prom queen and king to dance," Mr. Bubbled said in fear.

"NO!" yelled Blaire. Her eyes began to glow red. Most of the audience stopped like statues their eyes glowing red as well. Lilo and Reuben looked down, they hadn't planned on this.

And then it happened, those with glowing red eyes began to attack. People ran in all directions trying to escape. Sand was kicked up and tiki torches were raised in anger. Everything was on fire. Reuben lit up a cigarette.

"Fuck!" Lilo shouted. She ran down from the balcony and onto the stage. Grabbing the microphone out of Mr. Bubbles hands Lilo began to sing and sway her hips. Almost immediately a calm fell over the gymnasium. Even Blaire stopped her angry tirade as the sounds of "Hawaiian Roller Coaster" filled her ears.

Looks like tides have turned at St. Jumbo's.

All hail Lilo, the new Queen B.

XOXO Gossip GIrl


End file.
